Free Irish Jokes.
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Free Irish Jokes.
Mike Tyson walks into an irish pub.
He shouts iam mike tyson i have 26 million pounds and i only sleep with white women
Paddy walks up to him and whispers in his ear.
Mike punches him and knocks him out.
When paddy comes round his mates ask him what hes said and paddy replied.
Yeah if i had 26 pounds i wouldnt fuck niggers either.
free irish maid joke
A society lady runs into the employment office one day and demands a maid "right now". It seems she's having a dinner party that night and her maid quit. The guy in the agency explains that all the girls he has right now have just gotten off the boat from Ireland. They're untrained. The lady says she'll train the girl but needs someone right away. The agency guy asks for volunteers and Molly comes forward. She agrees to go and be trained. Well, the dinner party comes and goes and works out just fine. Molly does a great job. The next morning, the lady's walking down the upstairs hall and sees Molly in one of the guest rooms. Looks like she's making the bed but she's just standing there. Curious, the woman walks in and looks over Molly's shoulder. There on the bed lies a condom. The lady turns bright red and tries to laugh it off. "Why Molly," she says, "Surely you have those in Ireland, don't you?" Molly: "Shurin we do madam, but we don't skin em."
funny free irish joke
Like the Irish patient who hobbled into the Surgery's' waiting room. "I hope to God the doctor finds something wrong with me because I'd hate to feel like this if I was well!"
funny free irish joke
Murphy dropped dead the moment he arrived home from a vacation in the tropics. He was laid out in the coffin for friends and neighbours to pay their last respects. "He's got a great tan," Mrs Doolan from next door mused. "The holiday did him the world of good." "And he looks so calm and serene," said Mrs McGuiness. "That's because he died in his sleep." explained Mrs Murphy, "and he doesn't know he's dead yet, but when he wakes up, the shock will kill him!"
free irish joke
"Your glass is empty O'Flaherty, will you be having another?" "And why would I be wanting two empty glasses?" replied O'Flaherty.
free irish joke
Murphy arrived home late from the pub, well oiled and ready for trouble. "Is that you Murphy?" called his wife. "Byjasis! It damned well better be!"
free irish joke
Two tough union men were working on a building site when Murphy fell from the second floor scaffolding. "Are ya dead?" cried Gallagher from above. "To be sure I am," replied Murphy. "You are such a liar Murphy that I don't know whether to believe you or not!" Called Gallagher. "That proves I'm dead," said Murphy's voice from the rubble below, "because if I was alive you wouldn't be game to call me a liar!"
free irish joke
Dublin's contestant in an international quiz was waiting for his first question. "First, what's your name and occupation?" The compere asked. "Pass", came the reply.
more free irish joke
PADDY... "If you can guess how many chooks I have in my bag, you can have both of them." "Three?"... Suggested Shaun.
free irish joke
Paddy was coming through the customs at the airport carrying a large bottle. "What have you there?" said a suspicious customs officer. "Tis Lourdes holy water. I am bringing it home with me", said Paddy. "The officer took the bottle and tried some." Why it's Irish whiskey!" he spluttered. "Lord bless me!" said Paddy, "another bloomin`miracle."