Irish joke, Free Drinks
Paddy and murphy are skint and want some beer, so paddy says "i know we go to the pub order 2 pints ill stick a pork sausage out of my zip, you suck it, the barman will throw us out thus getting a free drink. we can do this in every pub getting a free days drinking" so off they go to the first pub order 2 pints and start drinking, as they get to the last drop, paddy pulls the sausage from his zip, murphy sucks on it,,, the landlord sees this and throws them out. They continue this for the next 9 pubs. then Murphy says "oh be-jesus paddy can we swap my knees are killing me, paddy replies never mind your knees what about me i dropped the sausage in the 3rd pub...
Irish joke, Paddy the electrician
Paddy the electrician get a job in a prison and is asked to check over the electric chair. one hour later his boss askes if he has done it. Paddy says "fuck off iam not going anywhere near that is a death trap.
another irish joke
Murphy calls to see his mate Paddy who has a broken leg. Paddy says, "Me feet are freezing mate, could you nip upstairs and get me slippers?" No bother," he says, and he runs upstairs and there are Paddy's two stunning 19 year old twin daughters sat on their beds. "Hello dere girls, your Da' sent me up here to shag ya both." "Fook off you liar!". "I'll prove it," Murphy says. So he shouts down the stairs, "Both of them, Paddy?" "Of course, what's the use of fookin' one?"
irish blacksmith
An irishman applying for a blacksmiths job was asked if he has any experience shoeing horses. No he replied but i once told a donkey to "fuck off"